i was rollin on her like bob the builder
the condom got lost in my hair
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
