Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
