so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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