I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
