exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Randomize
