We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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