i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
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