So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize
