I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
