Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
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