she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
FUCK WHALES
Randomize
