Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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