I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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