We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
