new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
