ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Randomize
