Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize
