She's JV to your varsity
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize