Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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