Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
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