I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
So squirting runs in the family.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
