Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
