i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize