Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
