What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Randomize