party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Randomize
