the condom got lost in my hair
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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