My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
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