better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
