it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
