i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
