Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Randomize
