Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize
