My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
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