but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
