How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Your topless pictures make me question reality
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
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