is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Randomize
