A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Randomize
