Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
