this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
25 People Reveal The Creepiest Kids They Went to School With
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
17 Subtle Body Language Signs That Reveal A Lot About Someone
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before