i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
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Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
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Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night