Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
The uberlube is also flammable
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE