I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Randomize
