I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
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She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
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I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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