I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
