Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop