I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
21 Bartenders That Are Definitely Winning At Their Jobs
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way