I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
