what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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