i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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