so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
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