Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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