Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Randomize
