she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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