Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
