I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
