i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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