it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Less talking, more tequila
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
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