Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Randomize
