I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
