Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
