I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Randomize
