that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
