I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
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