just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
