Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
