everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
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I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
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Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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